Hope for the Sorrowful Heart
- Strength For Life
- 2 days ago
- 5 min read
When you're grieving, life can be miserable. Sleepless nights, emotional pain, and frequent tears are all familiar experiences for anyone who has experienced grief. Because of the intensity of feeling that grief brings, and because it is easy to lose perspective when everything seems to have fallen apart and life becomes a labor, it is important to turn to Scripture. Let’s examine biblical answers to some common questions about grief.
Is grieving a sin?
The simple answer is no, it is not wrong to grieve. But in certain situations, it could become sinful. To begin, remember that even the sinless Jesus grieved. Isaiah 53 prophesied that the Messiah would be a “man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” A clear example of that prophecy’s fulfillment was when Jesus of Nazareth wept at the tomb of his friend Lazarus. Later, he also wept over Jerusalem when they rejected him. Obviously, then, grieving is right in certain cases.
Grieving can be not just Christlike, but also healthy. Tears are detoxification pathway for both our body and our mind. With that said, I must caution you that a self-centered type of excessive despair can move past healthy grieving into sin. Beware of an excessive and ungodly type of self-centered self-pity. Self-pity is definitely sin and has no place in the life of a biblically informed Christian.
Since grief and self-pity are so different, would you take a moment to humbly assess yourself? Ask: Are my tears and grief Christlike, or am I wallowing in self-pity? Take time to be honest with yourself as you answer. This self-reflection is important because, if your grief is self-centered, it can quickly turn into bitterness. When grief becomes bitterness toward others or even at God, that bitterness can define and debilitate you. Another good question is this: Am I grieving in a way that's guided by the Holy Spirit of God like Jesus was when he grieved?
How long will I be grieving?
In a way, this is a biblical question. Psalm 13 records four times the psalmist asks “how long.” Additionally, the New Testament answers this kind of question. 1 Peter 1:6 includes the phrase “though now for a season.” In that verse, Peter describes a time of heaviness, but says it will only be for a season.
The length of that “season,” as Peter says it, depends greatly on what caused your grief in the first place. Bereavement because a friend or a family member has passed away is a different type of grief than grief over betrayal, where someone lied to you, forsook you, or broke their vows to you. Both of these are yet different than the grief of being generally overwhelmed by life. Regardless whether it's bereavement or betrayal or burden, though, big problems bring big tears. However, the point of 1 Peter 1:6 is that the heaviness is only for a season, whatever the cause. Even if you grieve for the rest of your life, that is a brief time compared to eternity in heaven. Your grief over the death of a loved one will stop when you see them face to face in glory. Your mourning will be turned into joy. Your grieving is only for a season.
Is there any help for the pain of grief?
In the moment, grief is painful. It is a burden on the heart. Between now and heaven, is there hope? God’s answer is most definitely yes. As I mentioned earlier, Jesus himself grieved. But remember also that Jesus was sent to comfort them that mourn (Is. 61;2). Jesus is the one who binds up the brokenhearted (Is. 61:1). He is the one who has borne our grief and carried our sorrows (Isa. 53:4). If you look up those passages of Scripture and highlight some of those phrases in your Bible, the Lord will comfort you through His Word.
Another passage of Scripture that provides comfort for the grieving is 1 Peter 1:6. You might say, "I thought that verse was about heaviness." Well, it is. But the surrounding verses also remind us of things to rejoice in even when we’re grieving. Verse 6 itself refers to an occasion “wherein ye greatly rejoice.” Verse 3 reminds us to greatly rejoice in God's abundant mercy. That is a great reminder because we're sinners, yet God has been merciful to us. Take time right now to rejoice in the fact that you've been born again, that you have a lively hope, which is a confident expectation of heaven. That's something to rejoice in.
1 Peter 1:4 provides yet another reason to rejoice. It reminds you of the inheritance reserved in heaven for you. That inheritance is much better than Bitcoin, or anything the stock market can accumulate. That inheritance is incorruptible and undefiled. “It fadeth not away” because it's reserved in heaven for you.
I have been just recently been in a season of personal grief. Something that has encouraged me is to deliberately focus on people around me that are showing me love, and that I can show love to. Invest in the people around you and let them invest in you. That will help you heal.
Finally, remember that, as Christians, we don't sorrow like the world sorrows. 1 Thessalonians 4:13 opens with the phrase, "I would not have you be ignorant, brethren, that ye sorrow not even as others." To rephrase, Paul is saying, "Christian person, you need to understand grief and sorrow. Don't be ignorant about it.” Our mind informs our emotions. Therefore, our theology should inform our tears. What we know about God should impact how we face grief. Remember, your grief doesn't have to define you or debilitate you. Instead, you should let Christ define and invigorate you.
To conclude, let me offer some additional resources. The best easily read book I've seen deal with grief is How to Get Through What You’ll Never Get Over: Walking Through Grief by the Grace of God by Bill Prader. You can purchase a copy of that book here. Also, I want to encourage you to check out several Strength for Life podcasts where we interviewed people who handled grief well. One interview is with Kaitlyn Kahlhamer. If you don't know her story, she lost her dad in a plane crash. No doubt she was grieving and still grieves, but she has been grieving in a healthy, Christlike way. Also, check out my interview with Mickey Price, who lost his adult daughter to drug addiction. In that interview, Mickey gives biblical insights about how to handle grief. Finally, check out my interview with Dr. Chuck Phelps, who lost his son in a bus accident. In that podcast, Dr. Phelps gives practical and biblical explanations about how he handled several seasons of grief in his life.
If you're grieving, turn to the word of God and turn to the people of God. There, you'll find strength and comfort and wisdom and love. Because, no matter what you're facing, remember that he is the God of all comfort. To God be the glory.
The above article was written by Pastor James C. Johnson. He is the pastor of NorthStone Baptist Church in Pensacola, Fl. To offer him your feedback, comment below or email us at strengthforlife461@gmail.com.
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