Help Through the Tough Times

Help Through the Tough Times

“Be a man!” “Man up!” Sounds simple.“Put God first, exercise, eat right, fight the fight, protect women and children, stand up for what is right,” and the list goes on. Though everybody’s opinion about what it means to a man differs in small ways, in substance they are all pretty much the same. However, what is often not included is an answer to this question: What happens when you falter? In those times when there is weakness and lostness, “be a man” and “man up” become empty statements. Men who rely solely on such platitudes will find themselves in a darker place with no way out. 

The most widely used Bible command to be a man comes from God’s mouth: “Gird up now thy loins like a man” (Job 38:3 and Job 40:7). The other well-known verse is the command to “quit you like men” (1 Cor. 16:13). When the most Holy One, God the Father, told Job to be a man, it was because he was wallowing in self-pity (and seemingly for good reason), yet when Paul makes the statement, it is a general statement on being a Christian. Neither command was immediately followed with directions on “how to be a man,” but in both cases we can examine Scriptures to find our way. Let’s look at examples throughout the Scriptures where men were feeling down and see how they overcame these things.

The most overlooked way to address the feeling of defeat is presented in several places throughout the Bible: write it all down and give it to God. Mind-blowing isn’t it? To take one example, Lamentations is an historical book that records the downfall of Jerusalem. It is also the personal lamentation of Jeremiah. Yet, by recording his response, he was healing himself and others. Lamentations both describes the great destruction of Jerusalem and pictures the coming Great Tribulation. “She weepeth sore in the night, and her tears are on her cheeks: among her lovers she hath none to comfort her: all her friends have dealt treacherously with her, they are become her enemies” (Lamentations 1:2). Jeremiah lays out the sad state of Jerusalem: depressed, lonely, no friends. However, Jeremiah is also pain stricken. “I am the man that hath seen affliction by the rod of his wrath” (Lamentations 3:1). He thinks God has turned against him (Lamentations 3:3). That feeling that God is not with you is the hardest burden to overcome. In such extreme situations, “being a man” about it will not help. Consider also the psalmist David. He was “a man after mine [God’s] own heart, which shall fulfill all my will” (Acts 13:22). Yet David had great sin in him that he dwelled on night and day. He wrote numerous Psalms of lament and despair, and gave those psalms to God. Prayer may be the easiest way to talk to God about your feelings, but writing them down before giving them to Him, as David and Jeremiah did, is often a better, more thorough way to work through deep despair.

Another great way to deal with times of defeat or despair is to get out in God’s creation and be amazed by His handiwork. A great place to do this is in the mountains or hills, if you can get there. We see in the Bible how men from Abraham to Zechariah and even Jesus retreated to the mountains to talk to God. The mountains are a place to find safety and recharge your soul. In John 6:15, when Jesus “perceived that they would come and take him by force, to make him a king, he departed again into a mountain himself alone.” On the Gulf Coast far from the mountains, I find that “the heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork” (Psalm 19:1). You can find God on a trail through the woods, by the river, or at the beach, because “all things were made by him; and without him, was not any thing made that was made” (John 1:3). So, no matter where you are in His creation, bring His majesty to your forethought and “whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Cor. 10:31).

The thought that God has left your side is incredibly hard to overcome. Writing thoughts down and walking through His creation are ways to overcome this depression, but they are not the only ways. More than the method, though, it is imperative to remember that “the righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles” (Psalm 34:17). And whether we write down our troubles or take a nature hike, we need to remember that “casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you” (1 Peter 5:7) means just what it says. Rely on His mercy and His grace for healing. And as you write or as you stroll through nature, know that “thine ears shall hear a word behind thee” in your thoughts, in the trees or the waves, “saying, ‘This is the way, walk ye in it’” (Isaiah 30:21).

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The above article was written by Jonathan Thornton. He is a military veteran and member of NorthStone Baptist Church in Pensacola, FL. To offer him your feedback, comment below or email us at strengthforlife461@gmail.com.

Every Tuesday, SFL publishes relevant Bible-based content. Check back next Tuesday to read the next SFL article.

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